ADRIENNE'S HIV BLOG – Hivine's Weblog

HIVINE is written by HIV positive women but still with a sense of humour


Jennie wrote @ July 3, 2008 at 1:41 pm

i do have a worry at the moment, I’ve had a particularly bad twelve months as far as my health goes, not with the virus though, the doctors have found something else now and I’m going to have to go in hospital for major surgery and I’m absolutely terrified. Since my diagnosis in 2006 Ive been in hospital rather a lot and each and every time Ive been in hospital Ive been treat like some sort of leper, i can only say that a small number of medical staff have treat me like a human being, and due to the way i have been made to feel when in hospital i just feel like anybody who comes near me is scared of contracting the virus and I’m scared that when I’m on that operating table i might not get the same level of care as somebody without HIV. I cant help worrying I’m dreading it, and i feel as though i have to keep it all in because people will just think I’m stupid for thinking like this.

hivine wrote @ July 3, 2008 at 10:44 pm

Hi Jennie,
Please believe me, you are not at all stupid for thinking like that and I for one understand exactly how you feel because I also had the same worries when I had to undergo surgery and I wondered if they would treat me with disrespect when I was out for the count. In fact, I remember crying and mumbling something about being HIV positive before they knocked me out, but the nurse patted my hand and told me not to worry and she seemed to be perfectly OK about it – and so she should, because as they say, there but for the grace of God etc. it could be her – and I think most people are starting to realise this now.

Remember, people working in the health professions these days are primed to treat everyone as if they had an infectious disease and precautions will be in place, so rest assured, you will be treated in the same way as anyone else. The thing is to try not to feel like a ‘leper’ yourself – as you are on medication, well I am presuming you are, your viral load is probably undectable so it would be highly unlikely that anyone would catch it from you anyway. It is the people that don’t know their status and who would be carrying a high viral load that would be the danger. Most medics are aware of this fact.

The other thing about being HIV positive, which is both a good and a bad thing, is that our health is continuosly monitored, so conditions which might have gone unoticed are spotted and immediately dealt with before they have chance (hopefully) to develop. So take heart and I hope your major surgery whatever it is, is successful. In the meantime try not to worry, although I know it’s hard not to.

There is one thing for sure Jennie, you are not alone in feeling like this, I’m sure all of us positive women do – and also remember, you are not alone. That is what HIVINE is here for and what it’s all about.

Take care and be strong,


Please post your comments if you have had any similar worries or experiences and also any other concerns you may have.


  Jennie wrote @

Thank you for responding to me so quickly, i value what you have to say, and it’s good to know that I’m not the only person to ever feel like this. I’m sorry to hear that your going to have to go in for major surgery as well, your right there is no peace with this bloody disease.

I suppose in a funny way we are lucky that we have regular MOT’s as i call them because if it hadn’t have been for mine i might not have ever found out that i have a serious heart defect so in that respect i could actually call it a blessing in disguise. I’m going to try to stop worrying so much i know i can get through this, Ive come this far.

Thanks again Adrienne

Take care

  hivine wrote @

Hi Jennie,

I have redone the blog header especially for you with lots of healing heart card symbols to help give you strength to get you through.

One thing that being positive does is give us strength – and as you say, you’ve got this far and I’m you’ve still got a long way to go,
I wish you all the best on your journey and please let me know how you get on,


  jennie wrote @

Hi Adrienne

the blog header looks fab, i’ll let you know how things go,looking forward to your next blog.

Take care


  Jennie wrote @

Hi Adrienne,

I would like to take this opportunity to let you know that i have had my operation and i am relieved and pleased to say that i am fit and well and on the mend. I am now looking forward to a very happy Christmas with my family ( i cant wait), i would like to thank you for the support and advice you gave me earlier on in the year. Also i read in one of your recent posts that you run a support group for positive people in Blackburn, i was wondering if you could give me some information on this as i live in the Blackburn area and would be interested in something like this.

Thank you


  hivine wrote @

Hi Jennie,

I was so pleased to get your message and hear that you have survived your ordeal – what a relief it must be now that it is all over.
There are two support groups in Blackburn, one which is mixed at The Jarman Centre 6 to 8 run by the lovely Chi Ko and we meet once a month (had a meeting last night and a new member joined, newly diagnosed).

The other group , the hivine group which I run is for women (although we can’t seem to get rid of Chi Ko ) and it is on Thursday afternoons also at the Jarman Centre from 2 to 4. Not tomorrow though. We are only a small group but we have high hopes and are about to become a constituted group so we can get funding for the various projects we have in mind. The group is a great source of support for us all and it would be great if you want to come along and join forces with us.

Both groups are of course entirely confidential if you want to meet up with me before send an email to and I will send you my contact details.
All the very best for now and great to hear from you,


  Liza Westfahl wrote @

Nice post! You truly have a wonderful way of writing which I find captivating! I will definitely be bookmarking you and returning to your blog. In fact, your post reminded me about a strange thing that happened to me the other day. I’ll tell you about that later…

  Kristel Besares wrote @

I would like to say “wow” what a inspiring post. This is really great. Keep doing what you’re doing!!

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