ADRIENNE'S HIV BLOG – Hivine's Weblog

HIVINE is written by HIV positive women but still with a sense of humour

Adrienne Seed – The Prologue – Spider and the Fly

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Brian’s supercilious eyes, the palest of mocking blue, continue to stare at me, long after he’s gone. And yet his eyes were not blue at all, they were a sludgy green colour, apart from on the night he died, when they resembled glassy, black marbles: cold, hard and impenetrable, the eyes of a stranger.

“I feel like death, I feel like death,” he repeated over and over again, the look in his knowing black marble eyes informing me that he would soon be taking me with him. Or at least, that was the feeling I was left with, as his spirit winged over my shoulder, branding me as it passed with the icy cold finger of death.

His image remains on the wall to haunt me. For some quirk of his eccentric reasoning, Salvador Dali, the surrealist artist and self confessed genius, painted a rare portrait of ‘the crazy inventor’ as he saw him, regally enthroned and wrapped in the traditional surreal white sheet, with golden curls and pale, watery blue eyes. And yet Brian’s hair was as black as coal, at least at the time when Dali painted him. Maybe by depicting Brian in this irreverent, sickly sweet manner, Dali was sardonically portraying Brian as he saw himself: angelic, holier than thou, God-like even.

‘The Spider and the Fly’, my portrait of Brian is very different to that of Dali’s as it shows him as he really was and depicts his darker side, his power, his control; his control over me. The two paintings, both copies, are in front of me now and hang side by side on my wall. The original Dali Brian bequeathed to The Royal Society and hangs in a room with his name over the door. My portrait, ‘The Spider and the Fly’, remains in his house as part of his prestigious art collection, which cannot be removed (according to his last will and testament) for eighty years.

The two copies of the portraits are all I have left now to remind me of him, apart from the other legacy I have been bequeathed, which I will have to live with for the rest of my life.


  Pearl Farrell wrote @

I floated on my own transendental snowflake when reading this Adrienne. How strong your inner essence was/is, against all the odds you survived and survive. Brian’s uniqueness may have been so, however your own uniqueness conquered ultimately to tell the tale.

  Mary Achillea wrote @

Adrienne – are you the wonderful artist from Blackburn?? If so please email me and get in touch.


Mary(from London)

  Loraine wrote @

Wow Adrienne——-how did I miss this bit.

It´s great just do something with 3 X Harrods, they don´t need that much publicity.

Love Loraine.

  Wesley Colon wrote @

I just added this website to my feed reader, great stuff. Can’t get enough!

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