ADRIENNE'S HIV BLOG – Hivine's Weblog

HIVINE is written by HIV positive women but still with a sense of humour

A Great Big Thank You and what HIVINE is all about

I would like to say a great big thank you once again to everyone who has visited the site over the last seven months and those who have continued to do so on a regular basis. I can’t tell you how much your kind and supportive comments have meant to me. The fact that you have supported me also means hope for the many other women and men out there affected by this disease, in that by supporting me, you are also supporting them. For that reason I ask you to keep visiting the site and posting your comments and in that way we can keep the vine, the hivine, flourishing and continuing to grow from strength to strength.

I like to think of every visit as a leaf on the vine and I will continue to update the site and add useful leaf-links for people with HIV, their friends and families and also for people who just want to become more aware of the facts, figure and myths relating to HIV/AIDS. There will soon be a help-vine, a fact-vine and who knows, maybe even a love-vine – and don’t forget, you will have ‘heard it on the hivine’.


  jennie wrote @

Hi Adrienne

I visit hivine regularly, i think the idea of a help-vine is a fantastic idea i think people would benefit greatly from something like this, it’s not always easy to talk to people about HIV. i myself find it extremely difficult to talk to people i always feel as though im being judged i think thats one of the main reasons i like visiting Hivine so much, it makes me feel normal again, it’s reassuring to know that im not actually on my own .

  hivine wrote @

I was so pleased to read your comment – it gives me great encouragement to carry on, because sometimes when I’m writing these blogs, I do wonder at times if people will think I’m stark raving bonkers – but then again, HIV is enough to send you over the edge if you’re not careful, so you have to have a sense of humour – if that’s what you call it!
Do you have a question for the help-vine to start us off – anything you are worrying about in particular?
Take care,

  Jennie wrote @

Well i don’t think your stark raving bonkers, i think your quite amazing actually. i do have a worry at the moment, I’ve had a particularly bad twelve months as far as my health goes, not with the virus though, the doctors have found something else now and I’m going to have to go in hospital for major surgery and I’m absolutely terrified. Since my diagnosis in 2006 Ive been in hospital rather a lot and each and every time Ive been in hospital Ive been treat like some sort of leper, i can only say that a small number of medical staff have treat me like a human being, and due to the way i have been made to feel when in hospital i just feel like anybody who comes near me is scared of contracting the virus and I’m scared that when I’m on that operating table i might not get the same level of care as somebody without HIV. I cant help worrying I’m dreading it, and i feel as though i have to keep it all in because people will just think I’m stupid for thinking like this.


  hivine wrote @

Hi Jennie,

Please believe me, you are not at all stupid for thinking like that and I for one understand exactly how you feel because I also had the same worries when I had to undergo surgery and I wondered if they would treat me with disrespect when I was out for the count. In fact, I remember crying and mumbling something about being HIV positive before they knocked me out, but the nurse patted my hand and told me not to worry and she seemed to be perfectly OK about it – and so she should, because as they say, there but for the grace of God etc. it could be her – and I think most people are starting to realise this now.

Remember, people working in the health professions these days are primed to treat everyone as if they had an infectious disease and precautions will be in place, so rest assured, you will be treated in the same way as anyone else. The thing is to try not to feel like a ‘leper’ yourself – as you are on medication, well I am presuming you are, your viral load is probably undectable so it would be highly unlikely that anyone would catch it from you anyway. It is the people that don’t know their status and who would be carrying a high viral load that would be the danger. Most medics are aware of this fact.

Contrary to popular belief, it is not that easy to catch HIV and thankfully the general public are more aware of the routes of infection and that they can’t catch HIV merely from contact such as touching or kissing an HIV postive person.

In the meantime try not to worry, although I know it’s hard not to.

The other thing about being HIV positive, which is both a good and a bad thing, is that our health is continuosly monitored so conditions which might have gone unoticed are spotted and immediately dealt with before they have chance (hopefully) to develop. So take heart and I hope your major surgery whatever it is, is successful. My next blog is about all that because I’ve just been told I have to have major surgery myself. There is no peace is there with this bloody disease.

I will start the new help-vine with this and other women might respond with their comments about similar worries and experiences. There is one thing for sure, you are not alone in feeling like this, I’m sure all of us positive women do and also remember, you are not alone – that is what HIVINE is all about and what it’s here for.

Take care and be strong,


  Jennie wrote @

Thank you for responding to me so quickly, i value what you have to say, and it’s good to know that I’m not the only person to ever feel like this. I’m sorry to hear that your going to have to go in for major surgery as well, your right there is no peace with this bloody disease.

I suppose in a funny way we are lucky that we have regular MOT’s as i call them because if it hadn’t have been for mine i might not have ever found out that i have a serious heart defect so in that respect i could actually call it a blessing in disguise. I’m going to try to stop worrying so much i know i can get through this, Ive come this far.

Thanks again Adrienne

Take care

  kat wrote @

hi jennie and adrienne sorry not replied esrlier, but you are both amazing women and a credit to all the others out there, you keep me laughing with some of the blogs so keep it up, sorry to hear you both have to have more surgery i hope it goes well and they treat you with respect, i have had a recent stay in hospital, where depression hit an all time low! and didnt see many visitors as the snow was present and hubby having to juggle work, kids, and transport from preston( he cant drive as he is partially sighted!) so not the best of times, i went for a broncoscopy were i was booked in at 10.30 the dr came and went through my notes then said due to my virus he was moving me to the back of another patient, i was already scared at the thought of the procedure, stupid i know but even when in the dentists i gag when they do anything in my mouth! then he mutteered to colleagues that he needed full mask etc! i was horrified, luckily i had a lovely nurse called David who spoke with care and asked me how and where i received support etc, and how it was ignorant people like this dr that made the stigma more real! I complained to the ward nurse after she came to colllect me as she knew something had bothered me, well it did as i’m brave to speak out so others never experience it, he came to me dressed in the most rediculous outfit ( looking like a spaceman!) the day after he visited me on the ward and was so nice, i explained to him there was a guy in recovery opposite me and he will have wondered why the outfit, i said did you know his status and he said no! i said you are more at risk of others than me! and i think at that point the penny dropped, it makes me mad when i face this fear of others but when going back through the event i laugh, how ignorant and stupid people are. keep up the good work adrienne, and my thoughts and prayers are with you both and any others out there that need support.

  hivine wrote @

Hi Kat, I am so sorry to hear you’ve been in hospital. I wish I’d of known I would have come to visit you. What an experience you had to endure and yet doctors deny that stigma still exsists and that HIV should be treated like any other chronic illness. Well we know that that is not possible and your disgusting treatment at the hopital only goes to prove the point and that is why we have to keep speaking out and fighting against it. I hope you are feeling a bit better now and please phone me if you are down. I would love you to come back to the group, but I know it’s difficult for you. You could come to the new centre and we could arrange a time any day of the week then we could catch up. I would love to see you – take care, lots of love, Adrienne xx

  Rob wrote @

Love the blog – so I added it to’s blog list. Well written, warm, comforting and expressive. I wish you the best!

  hivine wrote @

Thanks Rob – I wish you all the best too

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