ADRIENNE'S HIV BLOG – Hivine's Weblog

HIVINE is written by HIV positive women but still with a sense of humour

Lady Google

Woof – She’s back. Took her woofin long enough I must say. Said she had to get away from me for a while so her sore arm and dizzy head would have a chance to get better. She’s been suffering from something called vertigo – kept toppling over like a skittle. Ha! It was really easy to knock her over. She blamed it on those ‘bloody meds’ as she calls them – and me of course. Well, I am prepared to take some responsibility for her sore arm, but her dizzy head? She had that long before I came along I’m sure – all her life, according to her nearest and dearest. She is after all what you humans refer to as a dizzy blonde.

Good news though, she brought Tio Luis back with her. I haven’t seen Tio since Christmas when I was a young pup. I’m still technically a pup but you would never think so, the size of me. I’m as tall as Tio now when I jump up and I can still knock pack mistress over no problem, because she’s come back as dizzy as ever and can’t even bend down to pick her socks up off the floor, so I have to do it for her. The thing is she gets mad when I wont give them back.

Tio was so pleased to see me he kept tugging my newly formed beard and kissing me with his toothless chops – he would be useless with a bone, so no competition there. He says I look like a bien venidos, which apparently is a doormat in Spanish. I take exception to being likened to a doormat – well wouldn’t you? Doormats are for chewing, or for weeing on when its raining and you can’t be bothered to make it to the grass, well, what grass that’s left after I’ve done my sixty daily laps around our pitiful excuse for a garden.

Here’s the list of things I chewed up whilst she was away – the long yellow python that spurts water and lives in the garden, the rotary clothes dryer (it was getting on my nerves flapping round in the wind so I knocked it over and chewed up the wires for good measure), three wicker baskets – the dirty linen basket, the clean sock basket, the basket that sat at the bottom of stairs which had no use whatsoever as far as I could see. Then I moved on to the stair carpet. I found that if I unloosened a tuft or two with my new gnashers I could unravel it like a woolly jumper. I don’t know what she was so mad about, she can soon get her knitting needles out and knit it back together again, give her something to do aside from sitting in the conservatory (my kennel) smoking her dirty duty free Camels.

Tio Luis never gets mad at me, he just calls me a gwappa in his macho Spanish growl and tells me I’m very well behaved and a google. Now Pack mistress is back I expect she’ll spend all day a googling, like she normally does, typing in her own name, then looking at this website to see how many hits she’s had since she’s been away. Anyway s’pose I’ll have to be a google all the time now pack mistress is back so she won’t live up to her name – pack her bag and woof off again.

One woof for now – Lady Google a.k.a. Doodle.

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