ADRIENNE'S HIV BLOG – Hivine's Weblog

HIVINE is written by HIV positive women but still with a sense of humour

Bogged Off!

Oh dear what a mess, wet through and covered from head to toe in black soggy mud and I’m not talking about Lady Doodle here I’m talking about me.

I think I’ve mentioned before that here in the north of England it never stops raining. Well, true to form it was pissing down this afternoon but I thought I’d do the decent thing and take Lady Doodle out for a walk on the field next to the junior school in front of my house.

I was not looking my best, no ‘face’ on, baggy tracksuit bottoms, scruffy black anorak, hair stuffed under hideous old lady M&S black fur hat inherited from my mum who had always refused to wear it because she thought it made her look ugly and like that woman with the dog out of Emmerdale – and she was right.

Off we set with Doodles pulling on the extending lead bought from the pound shop and obviously intended for miniature puppy not a baby lioness. Woof wohay…. sniffs galore – everyone walks their pooches on that particular stretch of grass and the school kids (shame on them) also toss all their rubbish.

In all fairness it wasn’t Lady Doodle’s fault but suddenly both my feet slipped from under me and I landed flat on my back, totally winded, in what can only be described as a bog. I then slithered out of control at a rate of knots and most ungracefully, down a sharp incline. It was like being on a water shute.

As I whooshed meandering from side to side down the slippery slope I was considering the following things – first and foremost was I ever going to stop or would I end up on the school football pitch at the bottom of the hill. Luckily it was Sunday so the kids were not at school otherwise I would have been a laughing stock. Secondly would my neighbours be watching from behind their (unlike mine) immaculate net curtains tut tutting – reconfirming that in their opinion it may not have been a wise decision at my age to take on the responsibilities of a new puppy.

Meanwhile Lady Doodle galloped alongside me thinking I had invented a new game purely for her amusement. However at sixty one years of age and especially in my condition (my nosey neighbours are probably right) I am definitely too old for such frolicsome antics. The problem was, because I was clutching on so tightly to the handle of the lead for fear of losing Doodle, she was actually pulling me along in the mud.

It seems funny now but at the time it was traumatic to say the least. I could have broken something or hurt my back. Luckily the fact that I’d landed in a bog actually saved me. More than anything it was humiliating and I felt really foolish, squelching back to the house, my head bowed covered in mud – and with my wet pants hanging between my legs I really did feel like an old lady!

I must admit, once behind the safety of closed doors I had a bit of a cry, mainly because I felt so stupid but also because it reminded me that I am not as young as I was and I do live with a chronic condition that will only get worse. Then the thought occurred to me, had I broken something how long would I have been laying prone on the field until anyone thought to come and search for me?

Maybe I need one of those buddy devices they keep advertising on telly.

Old age – the thought terrifies me, dependent on others, dependent (heaven forefend) on my son – dependent on Lady Doodle. Hardly, she’d run off with the first person who offered her a treat and abandon me and so would my son come to think of it!

This was no good, I quickly pulled myself together and put an end to all those negative thoughts. You are as young as you feel, or as dirty old men say, as young as the lady you are feeling – or in my case the lady I am stroking, as in Lady D. Lady Doodle is going to keep me fit and HIV isn’t going to stop me from having yet another form of love in my life, no sirreeeee.

So all those negative thoughts can bog off. I will immediately get back in the saddle, so to speak, don my furry hat, pick myself up, wipe myself off and start all over again…. nothing’s impossible de dee dee dee… da da da da….. de dee dee dee

And talking of deee’s – woof woof from Lady Doodle.

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