ADRIENNE'S HIV BLOG – Hivine's Weblog

HIVINE is written by HIV positive women but still with a sense of humour

Archive for June 16, 2009

All of a TWITTER!

Twiitter header square

Not content with blogging and facebook I have now signed up to Twitter. The trouble is I haven’t really got a clue what it’s all about. Twitter is yet another social networking website and ‘tweets’ are apparently text based posts delivered to other users known as followers. I’m not sure whether I am comfortable with the term ‘follower’ or the thought that someone is following me as it smacks somewhat of stalking or being stalked. Stephen Fry is allegedly the celebrity with the most stalkers/followers, along with not surprisingly Britney Spears and also Barack Obama who used twitter as a publicity mechanism in the run up to the elections.

Twitter is defined as a succession of chirps or cheeps, as in that highly annoying and repitious song, ‘chirpy chirpy cheep cheep’ – although ‘chirpy cheep cheeps’ sounds more like a name for an Italian feesh and cheep shop.

Twittering is to talk in an excited or nervous manner as in he or she was all atwitter. A Twit on the other hand is an insignificant or bothersome person which says it all really so what does that now make me?

I know that tweetchers are nature lovers who like to observe the habits of Britain’s wildlife, at least that’s their excuse for loitering in the bushes spying on birds. If you are one of the lucky people who have found lasting love in your life, you will be familiar with the term tweetheart and also the famous song, ‘I’ll be your tweetheart if you will be mine.’ Finding a lifelong tweetheart, whether or not you are HIV positive, is not an easy task and it is reported that almost half of British marriages are set to end in court. One of the top tips for a lasting relationship and the first secret of success to a happy future as revealed on the Sky website was to ensure that you and your partner have matching road maps. I’m not sure what they mean exactly by matching road maps but if you’ve ever had the misfortune to act as navigator for your tweetheart and taken the wrong direction I can understand why. Perhaps there is a new kind of sat nav or Tom Tom on the market for relationships – “In four hundred yards take the left lane and exit this relationship.”

But of all the secrets of a lasting relationship according to Sky ‘niceness’ may be the most important. If you are nice to your partner they will be nice to you. Well I don’t know about you but being nice didn’t work for me. 

“Mr and Mrs be nice to each other.”

Unfortunately mine was one of those unfortunate British marriages that ended up in court

“Mr and Mrs  Decree nici to each other.”

One click on a website tends to lead directly to another and as I was twittering away to myself I came across this one – Are You Popular? By analysing my facial map they would apparently be able to tell me how popular I was. Was this like the relationship road map I wondered? Of course I had to have a go because thanks to twitter and the fact that I only have one stalker with the highly suspicious surname of somebody Dodge, I am now suffering a personality crisis.  I dutifully downloaded my photograph (the photo shopped one of course) and it came back with some very rude comments about putting a litter tray under my mouth and the fact that I had get out of my bed eyes. I now wish I hadn’t bothered. In fact I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t twittered in the first place and so are you probably after listening to me twittering on, so I’m off to bed to slip between the tweets and hopefully have tweet dreams.