ADRIENNE'S HIV BLOG – Hivine's Weblog

HIVINE is written by HIV positive women but still with a sense of humour

Archive for March 19, 2009

Ode to HIV




I may be mistaken and correct me if I’m wrong, but I do believe Spring has arrived. According to the astronomical definition Spring begins in the Vernal Equinox usually on March 21st in the northern hemisphere, which I take to be the general Manchester area, Bolton, Blackburn with Lower Darwen and possibly parts of West Yorkshire.


Meteorologists generally define the beginning of Spring as March 21st; however it is still only the 19th of March. But apparently, according to wikipedia, many signs of Spring are occurring earlier in many regions, such as my back garden for example. This of course, like everything else they put down to global warming and point out for those who may not have noticed that in recent decades season creep has been observed. There is some current dispute on the world wide web however as to who this season’s biggest creep is, but if you want to take part in the survey you can sign up to the ‘Biggest creep ever’ on Face Book. According to some, although here I would have to beg to differ, it’s Simon Cowell. The most hated man alive of any season or decade apart from maybe Hitler is George Bush. Well, all I can say it’s about time this season’s allegedly biggest creep Mr Cowell got his act together and put the next edition of X-Factor back on the box, because I am bored silly by the current television programmes and constant repeats.


Talking of which, the worst ever poet renowned for his awful prose and tendency to repeat himself is the Scottish poet William McGonagall who is widely hailed as the writer of the worst poetry in the English language, but whose poems for some hold a certain quizzical if not downright hilarious charm. There is even a fan club and website glorifying his long winded but rhyming (??) much derided poetry – and if his following ode to Beecham’s pills is anything to go by I would have to agree.


What ho! Sickly people of high and low degree
I pray ye all be warned by me

No matter what may be your bodily ills

The safest and quickest cure is Beecham’s pills


They are admitted to be worth a guinea a box

For bilious and nervous disorders, and also smallpox

And dizziness and drowsiness, also colds and chills

And for such diseases nothing else can equal

Beecham’s pills.


William McGonagall


Shame he’s not still alive really. He could write a rhyming ode to our HIV medications. Unfortunately he passed away in 1902.

Oh well, as he’s no longer around I will have to do it myself.


What ho! Sickly people who have HIV

I pray ye all be warned by me

No matter what may be your bodily ills

The only (don’t know about safest) cure are these anti-retroviral highly toxic pills


They are admitted to be worth 500 guineas a box

For HIV hepatitis and also the pox

And dizziness and drowsiness, also colds and chills (and that’s just a very few symptoms of HIV infection)

And for such diseases nothing else can equal

HAART for positive people


So what ho! Positive people of the nation

I recommend this toxic libation

Made by Glaxo Smith and Kline

If you take your meds you’ll soon be feeling just fine.