ADRIENNE'S HIV BLOG – Hivine's Weblog

HIVINE is written by HIV positive women but still with a sense of humour

Archive for March 9, 2009

Raining Cats and Blogs


Isn’t it brilliant that the Osbourne family have supported Body Positive North West’s GO-4it campaign by wearing the green ribbon on the cover of the Spring edition of Positive Living.


Raining Cats and Blogs

Article for Positive Living

by Adrienne Seed


January is a miserable month at the best of times, but if you are HIV positive and living on your own, it can be one of the bleakest times of the year. You could always try internet dating of course, or failing that start your own blog like me and spend your life locked away with only your laptop for company. Then again, you could get a lap dog, or a lap cat for that matter, instead, which would offer you all the love and support that your computer cannot; besides you can’t stroke your computer to help relieve stress, in fact you are more likely to kick it, and it doesn’t exactly welcome you home wagging its tail. At least mine doesn’t. On the other hand, you don’t have to buy it expensive tins of Chum, so there are two ways to look at it I suppose.


If you are feeling alone and sad, the constant rain doesn’t help and living in the Manchester area we are used to it raining cats and dogs on a regular basis, although I’m still waiting for mine to fall out of the sky. A Labradoodle preferably, as unlike Graham Norton and Jeremy Clarkson, I can’t afford that particular designer breed, as much as I’d like one, so I will just have to be patient and either pay a visit to the local dog pound or wait to see what the next heavy rainfall brings.


Apparently, there really is such a phenomena as ‘raining animals’ and there have been reported incidences in certain parts of the world of it raining fish, crabs, bats, worms and ducks. Even here in England back in 1894 jelly fish were reported to have fallen from out of the sky and landed in Bath – they didn’t say whose bath it was, but it must have given them quite a shock. Good job it wasn’t electric eels.


More recently in Norfolk in the year 2000 apparently the heavens opened unleashing a storm of sprats, which was highly unusual as being a seaside resort it was usually a storm of brats, wielding their buckets and spades. Reports of falling fish, frogs, tomatoes and even coal date back to the dawning of the millennium and according to weather experts, this was likely to have been caused by mini-tornadoes, which can suck up frogs and even frogmen according to some reports. Talking of Frenchmen a noted French physicist in an attempt to explain this phenomenon suggests that at certain times of the year, frogs roam the countryside in large numbers (especially when there is a football match on) and violent winds pick them up and carry them great distances. In the case of football hooligans, French or otherwise, the further the better I would say.


Tornados and water spouts are also capable of capturing animals and possibly even football supporters and lifting them into the air and carrying them over large distances then allowing them to fall in a concentrated fashion in a localised area – back to whichever country their team heralds from hopefully, especially if you are an England supporter. Some tornados can suck up the entire contents of a pond then let the water and animals fall some distance away in the form of a ‘rain of animals.’ Luckily this doesn’t tend to happen on our village ponds and waterways, or canals for that matter and as far as I know has never happened on Canal Street, where it would definitely be a case of, “Its raining men, hallellulya.”


Maybe it has and that’s how the song originated?


There have also been incidents of animals exploding due to a natural build up of gas, but this could be a myth purely related to cows who are known to suffer from an excess of flatulence. However, there was the mysterious incidence of the exploding toads in Germany, where thousands of amphibians died in a pond in Hamburg after their bodies had expanded to twice their normal size and swelled to bursting point. Scientists were completely baffled by this occurrence but the possible explanations included a fungus in the pond or an unknown virus. Well, living with HIV we are all too familiar with peculiar funguses and the damage a virus can do, but thankfully at least ours doesn’t make us swell up to twice our normal size and explode. Mind you, that would depend on which meds you were taking I suppose.


Coincidentally, my intellectual hero Stephen Fry mentioned the exploding Frogs on last week’s QI. I wonder if he’d read this article – I’d like to think so. I’d also like to think that the Positive Living magazine was lying around on the Osbourne’s coffee table seeing as they were kind enough to front the cover and support our Green Ribbon campaign.

Well, you never know – anyway a big thank you to the Osbournes from Body Positive North West and all who sail in her!