ADRIENNE'S HIV BLOG – Hivine's Weblog

HIVINE is written by HIV positive women but still with a sense of humour



Thank you all, once again, for taking the time and trouble to respond to this blog. The response has been incredible and I am amazed, after looking at the stats, how many people have actually visited the site and are continuing to do so. Many of your kind comments and messages of support have really touched my heart and more importantly convinced me of the need to carry on trying to get my message accross. The message being that there is still life living with HIV and it is not necessarily a death sentence anymore, even though as I said on the radio, it is now a life sentence rather than a death sentence.

So for those of us who are doing time for a crime we did not commit, or unknowingly committed by the simple act of having a sexual relationship with someone we loved (or didn’t love for that matter), try not to be judged or judge yourself, because it could happen to anyone – and I mean anyone.

Don’t give up or give in, feel isolated or hide yourself away in a prison cell of guilt and shame. There is no blame on the behalf of anyone, unless of course they deliberately passed the virus on, which is a hard concept to believe.

People are asking me about something I said during the radio broadcast, which is what were the typical symptoms of HIV the various doctors, apart from the homeopathic doctor I consulted, did not pick up on.  I don’t want to send anyone into a panic, because these symptoms are not necessarily HIV related, but mine were as follows – strange unaccounted for fevers, peculiar spots all over my body like tiny bullet holes, an itchy rash which felt like millions of centipedes performing ‘The River Dance’ under my skin, the dreaded shingles, pneumonia, intermittent loss of voice and the most annoying of all, persistent oral thrush.

I always thought of Thrush, aside from the obvious reference to a small bird, as a woman’s complaint, usually located somewhere in our nether regions, but apparently babies often get it in their mouths and so do people infected with HIV. 

Talking of thrush and itchy things, and leading on from my last post entitled ‘The Graveyard Shift’ in regard to rabbits, as in our furry friends and not me rabbiting on which I tend (and am about) to do, the following day my son Ben found a scratch card in his Nintendo magazine and although we have both sworn never to fall into the same old trap of making that expensive phone call to find out what we hadn’t won, he went ahead and scratched to reveal three rabbits, the top prize and a possible million pounds, BMW etc. The lowest prize we could possibly win was a holiday to Majorca.

I have unfortunately inherited, or been saddled with, my mother’s ingrained sense of superstition, which ranges from the throwing of salt over one’s shoulder to the amount of times you can legally sneeze at any one time, according to superstitious law, before something either good or awful happens to you, right down to the cutting of toe nails and which days you either can or cannot cut them.

Therefore, because of the coincidental appearance of the three rabbits on the scratch card and the fact that I had just emailed my cousin Viv to send me the complete version of the poem, ‘The White Rabbit’, from which I wrote a previous quote and can somehow relate to my HIV status and will feature in its entirety at the end of this post, we made the call – and guess what? Predictably, we had won the holiday to Majorca for one person, the other had to pay of course, sharing a twin room, but only after paying a ‘refundable’ deposit of £75.

So the moral to this tale apart from disencouraging people from having unprotected sex, is whatever you do, don’t scratch!


1 Comment»

  Barb wrote @

Adrienne – we are all born with a voice and the opportunity to use it – the majority of us don’t – not only have you used yours to tell your story, you have potentially helped thousands – for this, I am incredibly proud of you B x

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